by Wendy Morical
In Reverend Weaver's service last Sunday, he guided us in a prayer of confession in which, together, we acknowledged how hard it is to try, again and again, to be agents for goodness and peace in the world, to “maintain our resolve to be [God’s] people in the world.”
It doesn't bear comment to mention again how challenging this past year has been. We've been through it together. One of the hardest things was maintaining a positive, loving outlook. Falling prey to resentment, anger, despondency, and hopelessness was a natural response to the challenge and sadness of 2020. Nonetheless, when I find myself responding to life with petulance and resentment, feeling sorry for myself, or looking at others with judgement and recrimination, I know I am not living as the person God calls me to be.
On Sunday, we affirmed our baptismal promise to live as a member of God’s family, embrace the teachings of Jesus and accept the renewal of the Holy Spirit. After recommitting to our faith, we offered thanksgiving for God's grace through Rev. Weaver’s prayer:
O God, we rejoice in your grace, given and received. We thank you that you claim us, that you wash us, strengthen us, and guide us, that you empower us to live a life worthy of our calling…
There are too many days in the past year — self-serving and inward-focused days — where I did not live up to God’s faith in me. The reality is that anger, pain, grief, depression, and yes, even hatred are aspects of our shared humanness. They serve to make us whole. We are not always kind to others, not always at our best, even with the ones we love most. And 2020 was definitely a year where the fragility of our goodness was exposed. Throughout our struggles, however, God reaches out to us, guiding us back — and we can honor God by looking for the way grace and beauty touch our lives every day.
The practice of writing a gratitude each day was suggested to us by Glover at some point in the past. At that time, I purchased a small journal with room for one short entry per day. And recently, I started to record one thing each day for which I am grateful. They are not huge things, but lovely things. One line per day.
This exercise has done more than simply remind me that I can rely on goodness and beauty in every day, however. It has transformed my outlook. I enter each day with the overt anticipation of small joys. The other day, I was driving into town for a variety of errands and meetings and I found myself thinking, I wonder what good thing might happen? When there is a shared laugh with a cashier, a sparkling icicle display, or lost gloves found, I think, Will this be my best moment? I anticipate delight!
In the evening, I lie in bed replaying the day and smiling, sorting through all the day’s moments of contentment — that homemade treat, the uplifting text. They’re not big deals, but they are far more pleasant to count than sheep. The first thing I do when I wake up is write something that sparked gratitude from the previous day, and I give thanks to God.
Then, I begin a new day. Grace awaits.